Choose to be happy

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 Recently, my mom passed away. It happened all too fast, we are still recovering from it. We weren't ready for it. I know people say you are never ready for someone to leave, but we weren't ready at all.
When you lose mom, you feel like an orphan. It doesn't matter how old you are, mom is someone who is suppose to be there always. And, my mom was always there. She was always at our apartment. Waiting for us. It doesn't matter where we would go, and how long we would stay, she would be there. She was the happiest when we were at home. She had a great sense of humor. She would make jokes, and she had this contagious laugh. You had to smile, even if you didn't want to. And, I never told her that I love her. I hope she knew that.
 After she passed away, I felt huge guilt because I wasn't the best daughter (or I think so).  We would get into the arguments almost about everything. I wasn't very patient with her, and I didn't take her illness into the consideration when we would argue.
I was thinking a lot and, in one moment this thought hit me really hard. We cannot change the past. Not even that single moment that just passed. I know we all know that, but we are not really aware of it.
All we have is now. Not even the future. Because we don't know what is going to happen in the future. Actually, we are not even sure what is going to happen tomorrow. Our plans can change in a heartbeat.
So, if we have only now, why wouldn't we make the best of it? Why wouldn't we smile more, enjoyed our favorite food, told someone we love them? Maybe you won't see them tomorrow. Make someone's day special. Tell them they look amazing. How much they mean to you. Travel. Meet new people, cities. Be happy!
There is no time for negativity. Everything will pass at some point. We cannot control anything except us. And, sometimes we even cannot control  us.
We make choices every day. What are we going to wear, to eat, what are we going to say. Let's make good choices.
If something happens and it's not in your control-let it be. Don't worry about that. It will pass. Try to enjoy as much as you can. So, when the end comes, you can look back and say "Hey, I was happy! I am ready to go!"
Our lives can last only a certain amount of time. Make the best of it!



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