Parenting - Being A Bad Guy
Who is the bad guy in your household? Who is the one saying NO to kids all the time? You can guess which one am I. :) The bad one of course. Considering research, 60-70% of mothers feel they are this kind of parent. I am glad I am not the only one. Are you in this group as well?
I like to plan everything for Nina. For example, when she eats, when she goes to bad at night, when she baths, for how long she can watch cartoons, etc. Darko is not like that. He is less strict with her. He is the funny one. The cool dad. He lets her do things her way. She likes him more because of this.
I am so tired of being the bad guy. I feel like the only word that comes out of my mouth is NO. I don't know if I ever say YES. :) I feel like Darko is too laid back, and allows her to do (almost) anything, so I need to jump in and break the party.
Couple of days ago, we went out to eat and Nina sat on D's lap. This made me so mad. She is 3 (but looks like she is 5). She is big enough to sit by herself, and to feed herself. But no, why would she do that when there is a daddy who will feed her? She just knows how to get to him. She eats by herself in preschool, but she decides when she will eat by herself at home. The other day she cried for an hour because I didn't want to wipe her nose. And, I saw (2 hours prior to this) in preschool she did it herself. I didn't want her to win this time, so I let her cry. I knew she could do it herself, she just didn't want to. After the crying, she started wiping her nose by herself. I won! :)
I want her to be more independent, so I demand of her to do herself the things she is capable of doing (putting the shoes and the clothes on, eating by herself, etc). Parenting is sometimes hard because children naturally take an easy path rather than the harder one. Well, grown-ups do the same, so children are not to be blamed for this. However, parents have to find ways to teach children right from wrong. We talk to Nina a lot about this. Unfortunately, she is still too young to understand some ideas an principles, so we are forced to put her in the "time out" when she goes over the limits. We don't do that often, just when she really crosses the limit lines. And, most of the time, I am the one who makes the decision about her "time out" time. No surprises. :)
I wish I could relax more and be the cool parent (like D), but all I do is worry. I worry too much about her upbringing. I think worrying become my state of mind. I just can't relax.
I wish Nina could understand, that me being the bad guy, is for her best. But, every time I say no she would run to D to seek approval. Sometimes, he would change my decision, other times he would agree with me. My no is not always the final no.
I would love to hear your parenthood role. Are you the good or the bad guy? I wonder if there is any family where both parents are good (or bad) guys?
Check this link, it might make you smile
https://www.buzzfeed.com/morganshanahan/15-struggles-of-always-being-the-bad-cop?utm_term=.fcgla20oN#.gh0wL1D7X
I hope you having an amazing week!
Jelena
I like to plan everything for Nina. For example, when she eats, when she goes to bad at night, when she baths, for how long she can watch cartoons, etc. Darko is not like that. He is less strict with her. He is the funny one. The cool dad. He lets her do things her way. She likes him more because of this.
I am so tired of being the bad guy. I feel like the only word that comes out of my mouth is NO. I don't know if I ever say YES. :) I feel like Darko is too laid back, and allows her to do (almost) anything, so I need to jump in and break the party.
Couple of days ago, we went out to eat and Nina sat on D's lap. This made me so mad. She is 3 (but looks like she is 5). She is big enough to sit by herself, and to feed herself. But no, why would she do that when there is a daddy who will feed her? She just knows how to get to him. She eats by herself in preschool, but she decides when she will eat by herself at home. The other day she cried for an hour because I didn't want to wipe her nose. And, I saw (2 hours prior to this) in preschool she did it herself. I didn't want her to win this time, so I let her cry. I knew she could do it herself, she just didn't want to. After the crying, she started wiping her nose by herself. I won! :)
I want her to be more independent, so I demand of her to do herself the things she is capable of doing (putting the shoes and the clothes on, eating by herself, etc). Parenting is sometimes hard because children naturally take an easy path rather than the harder one. Well, grown-ups do the same, so children are not to be blamed for this. However, parents have to find ways to teach children right from wrong. We talk to Nina a lot about this. Unfortunately, she is still too young to understand some ideas an principles, so we are forced to put her in the "time out" when she goes over the limits. We don't do that often, just when she really crosses the limit lines. And, most of the time, I am the one who makes the decision about her "time out" time. No surprises. :)
I wish I could relax more and be the cool parent (like D), but all I do is worry. I worry too much about her upbringing. I think worrying become my state of mind. I just can't relax.
I wish Nina could understand, that me being the bad guy, is for her best. But, every time I say no she would run to D to seek approval. Sometimes, he would change my decision, other times he would agree with me. My no is not always the final no.
I would love to hear your parenthood role. Are you the good or the bad guy? I wonder if there is any family where both parents are good (or bad) guys?
Check this link, it might make you smile
https://www.buzzfeed.com/morganshanahan/15-struggles-of-always-being-the-bad-cop?utm_term=.fcgla20oN#.gh0wL1D7X
I hope you having an amazing week!
Jelena
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